The end of the world as we know it.... [20 Mar 2006|06:26pm] [ mood | curious ] Is this what my friends and I are all coming to? I mean...Cal smokes pot, Aaron did last night. And for some reason I think that was just the beginning of many more times. And next weekend......  I dunno. I don't want to end up like all the dumb ass kids at my school who come up to me and talk to me about the great time they had smoking pot the night before. Meaning I don't want to get addicted or anything. I don't want to totally fuck my life up, but all the same I don't want to be a boring ass and NOT do fun stuff like that.  So what can I say about today? Hmm...at first I thought Aaron was being in an asshole mood today, and the whole way to his house I was dreading every step I took. At that point I would've killed to be at court watching my uncle Jim be taken away in handcuffs, rather than going to his house.  But he was nice to me, for the most part. I had more fun than I thought I would today. We watched fuzzy Elen, and then Bill and Ted. As a matter of fact, I haven't laughed as hard as I did in a while. Man...I DID have a good time today.  Something that's been bugging me. I'm really sick of life. I am. I want to just go to sleep and never wake up. Because when I AM sleeping, I'm either having a totally cool dream, or a bad nightmare. And I would love to just live in my dreams. Waking up is like walking through the doors to hell. I guess I'm just sick of everything being the same. I feel like a drag in life. I do the same thing every fucking day, and I want more. I want to do SOMETHING different. Life gets broing after a while, y'know? Then again, summer is right around the corner, and I KNOW we'll be doing a lot more stuff in the summer. And if Cal and Aaron just wanna sit around, go to the park, and sit around somemore this summer like they did last, then they can have fun doing it. Cos I will go do other stuff, and it will be a lot of fun, even if it IS just me. Because I'm about to die of bordum. And we don't want any dead Bret's, now do we?  1 Like | Heroin

Bleh [20 Mar 2006|01:43pm] [ mood | bored off my ass!!! ] I'm supposed to go downtown today with Aaron and Peggy. But I went by his house and there were no cars there, so I didn't bother walking a few extra steps to knock on the door. Probably pointless anyways. That there is how honestly lazy I am. Pathetic.  So I'm just kind of sitting here, bored. My mom and grandma are at court for my uncle Jim. I would've gone too, but going downtown sounded more appealing. *le sigh*  Mom says when I'm 15 I can get a tattoo, I'm gonna see if I can get it earlier. I'll ask her if it can be an early b-day present, and she can get one too. I know exactly what I'm gonna get too. And ya'll can wait to find out. HA HA!  I really want to wear those boots Hollie gave me. They're just sittin there looking all lonely saying "Wear me!" But I'm wearing my Doc's. And I haven't worn these in a long time.  Okay, I'm just babbling now. I'm gonna go jerk off in the shower or something. I dunno... Heroin

3 months... [19 Mar 2006|09:41pm] [ mood | pleased ] Aaron and I had a pretty weird 3 month anniversary. A lot of mood swings, y'know? But we made up for it all. He has this chair in his basement, with a foot rest, and very comfty cushioning. I swear I didn't get out of that chair for 2 hours, just watchin him be his crazy self. And when I finally did, he stole it. "Bitch, I'm getting that seat back." "Oh on you're not." I tried fitting in the chair, but unfourtanetly it's not big enough for the 2 of us. At first it made me think of being little, with my grandma. My biological dad's mom. We would sit together in this tiny chair, and read children stories and sing to Barney movies. Then reality struck, and I was back basically on top of Aaron. So I made myself comfty on his belly, wrapping my arms around him. He put his arms around me and rubbed my back. Just like that, we sat there for at least 5 minutes. That, my friends, is what I've been wanting for a really long time. Just to sit in his arms and...well....cuddle with him. Just to sit there, not talk, not kiss, not jerk eachother off. Just sit there, and breath that moment in with every breath we took. 1 Like | Heroin

Break Time [18 Mar 2006|03:11pm] [ mood | In love..... ] I've been up since 1:30 and I have not really sat down the whole time. I got up, took a shower, did my makeup and hair, cleaned a little, and I want to just sit now. So, I'm having my 2nd breakfast, Ramen. Then I'm gonna go do a bunch of dishes, then go over Aaron's house. Wether my parents are up by then or not.  HEY LOOK! Billie Joe's tattoo of the toys DO say Jakob! Cos I can see the K in my picture, unless it says Jak for some strange reason. God Tre' Cool is so hot. YOU KNOW WHAT?!??!!?!?! I'm getting really bored doing this, so I'm gonna go explore the internet world. See ya in a few Aaron. Heroin

Bleh.... [18 Mar 2006|01:27am] [ mood | nervous,in love,tired,bitchy ] I lost $10.00 of Cal's dad's money. He came over to play poker with my parents and shit, and he gave me $10.00 in chips to play with. I fucking lost it all. But I had fun doing it! And I got to play on his laptop computer!!! It was cool.  I just got done cleaning the hell outta my room. I'm so sore and tired from it. But I can't sleep cos people are still over and it's really loud downstairs.  Tomorrow Aaron is staying the night. It's our 3 month, actually....it's our 3 month right now, considering it's after midnight. So HAPPY 3 MONTH TO ME AND AARON! YAY!  But I'm nervous about him staying the night. I don't know why either...maybe cos it's my house, and we haven't stayed at my house in a really long time. And he told me he wrote me a poem, and I'm really blah about reading it. Like, I'm excited, but scared that I'll get all blushy and dumb and look like a moron. Pooey. But, I hope it all turns out okay. Hopefully there are no fights, or crying, or anything.  SONYA!!!!!!! Sorry I haven't been on, I was grounded on WED, and then I've been cleaning for the past 2 days. Tireing, but I thuoght of you and wrote you a note today. LOVE YOU!!!!! Now that I got that outta my system, I think I might go to sleep. I'm very tired, and I don't care about loudness. I'll fall asleep eventually. SO, that's all. Good night all. Love you Aaron. Heroin

WTF?! [14 Mar 2006|08:26pm] [ mood | accomplished ] So I started writing a song, because I pretended the wind was chasing me home today when Aarona nd I departed. Then I started listening to THE DOORS, and then tohught about Aaron. So here it is Aaron, a song for you that I wrote, and like. Don't wanna run from the wind no more Kicking, screaming, crying, and calling Out for you to hear But you just keep running Just keep running away from your fears And I'll always be there to catch your tears And you'll always be there to hold my heart hostage And I'll loose my mind But there's always something special with you C'mon baby, run free with me We'll cause chaos in the streets Cos we don't need to worry about anybody else but us And we're all that matters And the rest of the world SUCKS! 2 Like | Heroin

I say FUCK SCHOOL! [14 Mar 2006|04:33pm] [ mood | pissed off ] So my mom called my teacher yesterday to cancel a detention for me. She stuck up for ME. Seemed like she cared about ME, and that I shouldn't have a detention. And I honestly believed her.... Today after school Mrs.Sweeny, and Zatelli were BITCHING at me and Sam, giving me an attitude, and anyone who knows me knows DAMN WELL I'm not gonna take some attitude for some dumb fucking teachers.  So I came home and told my mom what they had said and she goes  "I called them back today to reschedule your detention. You deserve it." Uh....mood swing? So I have an hour detention tomorrow, which probably means I won't be able to go downtown with Aaron and Margaret. Sorry, Air. You can go if you want, I don't care. Heroin

Death Wish [13 Mar 2006|08:07pm] [ mood | stressed ] Brandon has a deathwish. I swear it. I feel like Bobby did sitting in the car outside Jerry's house with Angel and Jack. (was Jack there? I think so.) I seriously want to kick the shit outta that kid. Motherfucker... Anyways...I haven't been able to write much of anything good lately. Not much inspiration, and when I DO get inspiration it comes out sounding like the same ol' shitty stories I always write. So I'm just gonna stop writing for a while, and read a whole lot. Maybe that'll help improve my writing skills.  So, whatever. Today was 1/2 good 1/2 shitty. School sucked, EVERYONE was being assholes to me. Sam was getting on my nerves. After a weekend with her, I don't think I should see her for another 2 or 3 days. Kids were fucking with me after school, and Brandon wants my boyfriend. HA HA BITCH HE LOVES ME! Good cos it seems like I hung out for Aaron for a really long time. Maybe I was just really happy to see him. Whatever it is, I'm glad it happened. Cos it made me feel a lot better.  I've been really stressed, like more than usual. I had a panic attack last night, and this morning. Waiting to go into school at that. Just started crying and whatnot. Thank god it was pouring down rain, no one noticed. So, yah. That's all for now.  ps: Go check out Sonya's livejournal biotch!!!!!   http://grrrlscout.livejournal.com/ Heroin

Jesus fucking christ......... [13 Mar 2006|12:32am] [ mood | Like when I fought with Aaron. ] Aaron, I'm so sorry. I forgot I have a detention tomorrow after school. I don't know how long it's gonna be. The longest is an hour, so I probably won't be home till 5ish. So if I do come over it'll be after I eat dinner, but if not I'm really sorry. Talk to you later.....Love you.  Heroin

I don't know....something that just came to mind I guess. *shrugs* [12 Mar 2006|11:02pm] [ mood | horny ] Aaron and Slinky are on Aaron's basement couch, choking on eachother's tongues, and me and Tre' are at the bar just hangin out. "Is this what they always do?" I asked Tre'. "No, Aaron's stayin the night tonight. Foreplay, I guess." "But it's only 5:30, they're not gonna do that for another few hours." "You obviously don't know my sister that well." "I try not to." Tre' smiled at me, and motioned me to follow him. Aaron had DOOKEH playing pretty loud, and I doubt they were gonna stop anytime soon, so I followed him. He took me behind the bar, and we sat on the ground. "Teach them" He mumbled, and went in his fridge and pulled us out 2 beers. "Tre' we shouldn't." "Why not? It's not like we have anything else to do. Can't play any instruments cos Aaron's mom is sleeping, I highly doubt you want to makeout with me, and the only other choice we have is something that should stay in-" "What the hell are you guys doin?!" Aaron stood in the doorway, with Slinky right behind him. "Tre'!" Is all she said. "My dad's gonna kick my ass!" Tre' jumped up immediatly. "Aaron, I'm sorry. We didn't open them, yet." Aaron pointed to the fridge like he was our fucking father, and we both put the beers back. "It was all Kara's idea!" "Was not! It was his!" Tre' jumped over the bar and ran away, so I pushed right through Slinky and Aaron and chased him up the stairs. We both tip-toed across the livingroom where Aaron's dad was sleeping, and ran upstairs into Aaron's room. I closed the door behind me. "Whatchya gonna do now?" "I'm gonna sit here." Tre' sat on the floor. I walked away from the door and sat down in front of him. "You're one weird kid, Tre'." He just looked at me, with those pretty green eyes of his, pleading....for something. "What?" He just looked at me, and smiled. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" "Wow." "Wow? Wow?! Wow what?" "Kara, I never realized how....pretty you are." Me? Pretty? WHAT?! "Shut up Tre', you little shit." We sat there for a few minutes in silence. Then there was a sudden rush through my body. TRE' WAS KISSING ME! Heroin

More porn [12 Mar 2006|07:45pm] [ mood | I just watched porn.... ] Okay, so you thought we seen EVERYTHING in a porno? Well...we seen more. We seen.....Tarzan (animated porn), we seen a porn with background music of the song "Staying Alive". What is that? And the Tarzan one was pretty fucked up. Like for real...dood that was weird.  OMG! There's this porn label(?) called 4 Fingers Club, and they weren't kidding! SHE STUCK 4 FINGERS IN HER! Aaron.....I hope I'm not ever able to have 4 of YOUR fingers in me. And Jazzmine is in heat and doing it with everything she sees right now. Gross. Okay, that's it. Aaron's back. No more porn. Later. Heroin

Happy time.... [12 Mar 2006|04:41pm] [ mood | happy ] I talked to Aaron. He sounded so happy.....it was nice to hear his voice. It made my day. I only wish I could see him now....but I think I can wait till tomorrow. :) I told him to come online sometime today, so that'll be nice to talk more to him. Anyways, I think that's all. I just wanted ya'll to know that I'm happy I talked to him. I love him. :) :)  -Kara Parker....Parkay! lol. Heroin

My Turn To Be An Asshole....... [12 Mar 2006|04:06pm] [ mood | Meh, I wanna see Aaron...... ] Now I feel like an asshole. Apparently Aaron wanted to hang out with me today. So while he's at home wanting to be with me, me and Reagan are fiddling aboot in a nasty ass cold puddle talking about how much more fun we're having than Cal and Aaron are. Aaron, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you wanted to hang out with me today....I'm sorry. We'll hang out all day tomorrow, I promise. I'll tell my mom we're watching a movie and I'm gonna eat over there so that I don't have to go home at 6. And we can hang out and do....something. I don't know. Whatever you wanna do, K? Cos I love you that much. :) So, I'll be online probably all day if you wanna talk, K? Love you.... Heroin

Too much porno.... [12 Mar 2006|12:07am] [ mood | crazy, and bored. ] Okay, okay....so I went a little overboard on Cal. But that still isn't cool, he just SO happens to not be able to call me, but he's able to call up Aaron? That's straight up fucked up, and if Reagan wasn't here right now......I'd probable have torn my fucking room apart from anger. Well....I did tear my room apart, but not from anger. So Cal, I guess I forgive you, but you fucking owe me cos I feel really shitty right now.  ANYWAYS....while Cal and Aaron were having fun, having lives...me and Reagan weren't. We were having fun, yes. But lives? No. We spent 4 hours looking up porno. Every kind too. Lesbian, Gay, Horse, Dog, Incest, we tried hippo and animated porn but it didn't work. We seen but fucking, eating outness *cough cough* I only wish *cough cough*, fingering, but fingering, but licking, normal, odd positions, dogs eating out chicks, dogs doing chicks up the butt, horses doing chicks up the butt, dads doin girls, brothers doin sisters, boob in vaginas, boob licking and sucking, blow jobs, hand jobs, and much more. Then bad imitations of Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Anna Nicole Smith. We seen the Paris Hilton sex tape, Tommy and Pamela (Damn Tommys big), Nicole Kidman... Too much.  Now we've pretended to be for REAL insane, decided to make a movie, had throwing games, and now we're bored. What shall we do?  Reagan, it's getting hot in here. Maybe I should change into something less warm. NAKEDNESS!!!!!! Don't ask. For your sanity, don't ask. Hmm.....I dunno. Whatever. So, all in all we had more fun than you guys anyways no matter WHAT you did. Unless you watched porn for 4 hours too.  Oh, we also made my fishies fight. Good thing they didn't die, you guys would've never seen them. 4 Like | Heroin

Why do I let it bug me anymore? [11 Mar 2006|05:01pm] [ mood | What do you think? ] I should honestly be used to this. I mean...I'm only ditched....every....a lot. Thank you Netty for making my very NICE day a very SHITTY day. I hope that you and Becka have fun with this beautiful day outside. While I'm at home wishing I was with you guys, thanks a fucking lot. Great friend I have, huh? I should really be used to this..... Heroin

Poem for Sonya [09 Mar 2006|11:37pm] [ mood | lonely ] I'm really proud of this poem, I wrote it for Sonya. Boy=Chris. The point of this poem is that people need to stop being so fucking blind and realize what they really have. I don't fucking understand people..... Boy, what's wrong with you? You have such a good chance for a slow dance with such a wonderful girl Boy, can't you see? That girl loves both you and me But you have her by your side and I only have her in my mind While she's begging you to love her You're wishing you could tell her you do And I'm wishing I could be next to her And all this time you don't realize how lucky you are to have her sitting by your side Boy, look at that girl She's crying inside, holding back her tears Boy, Why are you so blind? You know you love her, Can't you just tell her? Boy oh boy what's wrong with you? She's that girl from your dreams The one that you look forward to seeing And now your all alone, and that girls cryin for you, and I'm dying to just meet that girl Heroin

Simple Girl [09 Mar 2006|07:37pm] [ mood | bored ] This livejournal username is the biggest lie I've ever told. Maybe not the girl part (Aaron would know), but the 'simple' part. I am the most complicated person I know. I might not show it as much, but trust me....I am.  So Aaron apologized for being an asshole the past couple o' days. I don't know why I really let it bug me, I really don't. Everyone's an asshole to me, why should he be any different? Maybe because he's my boyfriend, and I kinda depend on him to NOT be an asshole to me. Why do I answer my own questions?  I dunno. It's okay, Aaron. I'll live. I love you too.  I didn't go back over Aaron's house because my mom wanted me to meet this guy she used to know back in her 'teen years.' Well....he was the biggest fucking loser ever. He was totally drunk, had no license, met my re-united with my uncle John in jail, and wanted me in his band. 34 years old and he's begging a 14 year old little girl to be in his band.  So many older people ask me to be in their band, I quit with music. Heroin

I dunno...just something (THANK YOU AARON AND SONYA FOR THE INSPIRATION!) [08 Mar 2006|11:31pm] [ mood | contemplative ] There he was in front of me, with that same dumb look on his face. The same one he always has on. "What's wrong, Air?" "Nothin." "Why you look sad?" "I'm just thinkin, okay?! Can't I just think? Is that a fucking crime now?" "No, I just...I was just wonderin'." There's always something I'm not telling him, always. It's like a repeating thing each and everyday, and I'm getting sick of it. "Aaron, why do you have to 'think' when your friends are with you?" "You know what? Fuck you, Bret." "What the fuck did I do to you? HUH?! All I ever did for you was kiss your feet, treat you like a fucking king, and bite my tongue! Just so that I didn't say anything to upset you, but you don't give a shit what I think! Or how I feel! Why can't you just care for me like I care for you?!" My throat was swelling up, and I felt the tears running down my cheeks. "Bret...I...I'm sorry." "NO! You're not sorry Aaron! You say you are but you're not! Why can't you just.....FUCK!!!!!" I covered my face with my hands. "Bret, c'mon." Aaron put his arm around my shoulders. "NO! Don't touch me! Just get off of me!!!!" Aaron let me go and sat there in silence. Aaron and I gave me a few minutes to calm down, and stop crying. When I did I threw my arms around his neck, and my body into his. Almost like a natural reflux. He returned the favor and hugged me. "Aaron, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it...I really didn't." "Shh....It's okay, baby. Just calm down" Everything came back to me again and I was hysterical. Crying on his shoulder, my snot falling onto his shirt. "I love you Aaron. I love you so much you just....I just love you." "I know you do. And I love you too, you just gotta calm down." "I'm trying." "C'mon, I'm here for you. Just calm down, baby." 1 Like | Heroin

$100 [08 Mar 2006|08:09pm] [ mood | determined ] So my mom and I made a bet. When I go to Cedar Point with my school I have to go on EVERY RIDE there, and she'll giev me $100. Well, every ride that's worth getting paid for. Like the Tilt a Whirl isn't one, but BIG rides. Which there are 33 of if you even CONSIDER the sky ride a "scary ride". So I'm gonna be permenetly fucked up after this. So I have to get a cool camera by then so Sam can take pics of me on the rides. If I don't go on them then I have to pay HER $100. But it'll be SO much fun. I can't wait. My fishies are so cute..... Heroin

3 Times? [08 Mar 2006|03:47pm] [ mood | exhausted, tired, meh... ] I want to have sex with Ace Ventura. Not only does he do it really hard and good, but 3 times is like nothing to him. I don't care about the animals watching. Well, I'm bored of this dumb thing, I'm gonna watch them have sex again. Heroin

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